Your Average Jo: The fear factor
Between a global pandemic, climate change, economic instability and the self-destruction of our southern neighbours, there are plenty of valid reasons to be losing sleep these days. Then layer on top of those, the good old-fashioned everyday things that set each of us into a state of high anxiety.
For me, I’m not a fan of confined spaces, raccoons (don’t get me started) or heights, to name a few. This summer, I had to face my fear of heights head-on and let’s just say the fear won. I was enjoying my summer sojourn with my son Teddy up north where there’s a calm, beautiful lake. On the said lake, there’s a swim area that offers three exceedingly challenging towers to jump from. Following my 11-year-old’s descent from the top tower (I’m estimating it’s about 12 feet high), he asked me to do it. After lots of hemming and hawing, I ascended the ladder to the middle jumping point. My knees were knocking, my heart was racing, and my palms were sweating. After numerous countdowns from three, I did descend — back down the ladder (otherwise known as the walk of shame). Was I embarrassed? You bet your ass I was. But I was alive!
Here’s another example that I’m sure you can relate to: Don’t you find it interesting that when given the same set of COVID-19 facts (and I’m by no means claiming that everyone is getting the same set), that one person is crippled by fear and the other just takes it on the chin (preferably mask-covered) and continues about their business?
I’ve seen it a lot lately and at different moments, I’ve fallen into different camps. While I haven’t been paralyzed by the fear that I will die, I do recognize and respect that it’s a serious risk to many. My personal panic has been focused on the end of life as we know it, the new normal (which I’m not a fan of for many reasons), financial uncertainty, and how my son’s future will be impacted by this unprecedented sh*t show.
That’s the thing about fear. Sometimes it’s rational and other times it’s not. But it’s always personal.
The saying goes, “We have nothing to fear but fear itself.” But I call bullsh*t. (Clearly, I’m not afraid of swear words.) Sometimes it’s good to be afraid. Often it’s our gut sensing real danger. But other times it’s clouded with our own anxieties, biases and misinformation.
I’ve often spoken of calculated risk and that it’s the best we can do when it comes to assessing whether our fear is truly worthy. If you eat the food you think you hate, will you die? Or will it just leave a bad taste in your mouth? If you (or let’s say I) jump off the tower, are you falling to your death? Not likely. At most, maybe a bathing suit would fall off and you’d get some water in your nose.
And of course, there are more rational fears. Of not being able to take care of my son (either physically or financially), of getting a deadly disease, of losing someone I love. But even if there’s a solid rationale that those things won’t happen, I do my best to take that energy and use it for good. Whether that means building a strong work ethic, living in the present, and showering the people I love with love.
But it’s definitely hard to think so rationally when the demon is staring you down. So hopefully this will inspire you to think about your own fear factors while you’re not facing them and figure out what’s the worst that could happen. You may discover that the worst-case scenario is worth the risk (in my case, I may just be caught with my bikini pants down).
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